Fun Times at Rocky Horror
by snoopykid
Summary: SEQUEL TO FUN TIMES IN LA PUSH! Picks up where that one left off. What happens when Jake and Bella take the Cullens, who are Rocky Horror virgins, to the show? LAST CHAPTER IS UP WITH A PREVIEW OF NEW STORY IN THIS SERIES
1. What are Mommy and Jakey Up Too?

Ok so this is the sequel to **Fun Times in La Push**. I do not own anything that appears in this story. I hope that you all enjoy this just as much as I have writing it. I promise this will not take as long to finish as the other one.

_**WARNING:**_ THE CONTENT IN THIS FANFICTION STORY THAT I HAVE MADE UP IS FILLED WITH INSANITY THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS SUCH: INSANE, MADNESS, AND HILARIOUSNESS THAT WILL CAUSE YOU TO ROFLAO! SMALL CHILDREN THAT HAVE NOT YET BEEN CORRUPTED BY SOCITY SHOULD NOT READ. IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY OF THESE SIGNS STOP READING: LAUGHING TO YOURSELF, LAUGHING OUT LOUD, LAUGHING NON-STOP, OR RECIVE WEIRD LOOKS FROM RANDOM PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU ARE LAUGHING WAY TOO MUCH FOR ANY SANE PERSON TO HANDLE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

**Fun Times at Rocky Horror**

**Nessie POV-**

"Daddy, what is mommy and Jakey planning?" I asked my Dad thinking that Mom would have her shield down or he would have caught Jake's thought before he left.

Dad shrugged and said, "I do not know honey. She is blocking me and she must have been blocking Jake. And personally after seeing them at it in the tapes and what happened for three days I rather not know."

Oh so that was it. I was really curious now so I went to the All-Seeing and All-Knowing source of the family.

"Auntie Ali what are mommy and Jakey planning?" I asked her in a very innocent tone that I can get away with anything just by using it.

Alice shrugged and cuddle up against Uncle Jasper, "I do not know honey, because Jake is involved I cannot see anything. I would rather not know anyway, because I do not need to be a psychic to see that it will not end well for us."

I turned to my All-Feeling Uncle, "Uncle Jazzy?"

"Do not ask me what those two are planning I do not know and I would rather not know." He said waving his hands in mock surrender.

I sighed, why isn't anyone not curious about this? I walked toward my Grandfather's office and knocked.

"Come in." I opened the door to see Grandma and Grandpa sitting in the office.

"Nessie honey what can I do you for?" Grandpa asked reluctantly

"Do you guys know what Mommy and Jakey are up too?" I asked

"No honey and-" Grandma started to say but I interrupted.

"I know…I know…you would rather not know. Why is everyone saying that? Isn't anyone here in this house curious?" I ranted

Grandpa sighed, "Honey it's not that we do not want to know it's just that…uhm…Esme?"

Grandma sighed and said, "If your mommy and Jake want this to be a surprise then we have to respect that decision. You like surprises right?"

I thought…apparently that was one thing that I did not inherit from my mother…her resentment for surprises. Sighing I nodded and walked out, but not before hearing Grandpa say; "Nice thinking."

I wanted answers darn it! I did not care that curiosity killed the cat, because I know satisfaction will bring it back!

Tracking Uncle Emmy and Auntie Rosy in the game room I asked them the same question but the response:

Uncle Em, "I have known your mom for a while now and if it was one thing I learned from her is to butt out."

Auntie Rose, "I don't care…as long as it is not humiliating or scaring."

I refuse to give in! I may not have inherited my mom's enthusiasm for surprises, but I did inherit her stubbornness. I decided to go to the source.

I walked into the kitchen to find her on the phone. Sitting in the hallway I listened to the conversation:

"No Jake we are not going to watch any more tapes." She said. So she was talking to Jake…_**MY**_ Jake. I held back a growl…where did that come from?

"But Bells come on…no one from the pack wants to come. We'll be short on people. We do not have a Riff-Raff, Dr. Frake n Furter, Janet, Eddie, Columbia, and Magenta. I am Brad of course so…" He said. Hum…very curious.

"Hello Einstein I am Janet! I was Janet last time." She argued back, "Besides I could use a little payback for Bella Barbie anyway…and just think of what guy you can mess with along with the boys." Mom ended shrewdly.

"Oh yea! Hey did you tell them yet?" Jake asked

"I was about too. Hey I got to go. You and I can explain when you come back over, besides Nessie was asking questions and she is listening." Mom turned her head and her eyes caught mine. I'm in trouble.

"Kay see you later Bells."

"Bye Jake."

She hung up and I gulped. Turning toward me she asked, "I take it you have a question for me?"

I nodded my head and asked the one question that I have been dying to get the answer to, "What the heck are you and Jake planning?"

Mommy just smirked giving me the Cheshire Cat smile, "You'll see." And like the Cheshire Cat; she disappeared. Well she didn't actually disappear…more like glided out of the room leaving me shell shocked.

Time for some research.


	2. Costumes and 0o

Ok so thank you to all who favorite, alerted, and reviewed for this story! The warning is still the same, to see the warning click back to the pervious chapter. Also I will say that there is mention of drinking so I will say that I _**DO NOT**_ condone underage drinking.

**Fun Times at Rocky Horror**

**Nessie POV-**

I tried to do some research, but no cigar. I typed in the names that mommy mentioned to Jake:

Magenta

Riff-Raff

Dr. Frake n Furter

Janet

Eddie

Columbia

Brad

I typed them all in but got nothing. It was very frustrating. So I sighed and gave up. My mom is sane right? She wouldn't do anything bad to us right? She does love us right?

"She may love us but I doubt she is sane at the moment." Daddy said sitting in the living room with me as I closed my laptop.

"Daddy do you have any leads as to what is going on now?" I asked innocently.

Dad shook his head, "Nope her mind is as silent as a cemetery in a horror movie…eerier and silent."

I gave a mild shiver and asked, "What is she doing now?"

Daddy sighed and said, "Talking with Jane. Something about blood mixing with alcohol to if it tasted good. I have no clue as to who she is anymore."

"I said for the beginning that watching those movies was a bad idea." Aunt Ali said coming downstairs followed by Aunt Rose, Uncle Emmett, and Uncle Jasper.

Just as I was about to respond the door burst open and a booming voice said, "Come on Pixie you enjoyed watching our stupidity!"

"Jakey!" I jumped up and hugged him. Then I looked at him, "Why are you in a long trench coat when it is seventy degrees outside?"

Jake laughed, "All in due time. Where's your mom?"

Just as I was about to answer lo and behold she glided downstairs with a glass in her hand filled with…blood? What?

"Yo sup Jacob! What'd up home dog?" She said rather tipsy…what happened to my mother and why the hell is she in a trench coat too?

She actually walked up to him and leaned against him. He looked at her and said, "What the hell did you do? You know you are not suppose to get plastered before the show…it's suppose to be during the show so you can be sane."

"Wait what? She is drunk and she is vampire! Vampire does not equal drunkenness! How did she get drunk?" asked Uncle Emmett who looked just as confused as we were.

Daddy snacked his head, "That is why she wanted to know how blood mixed with alcohol tasted…she wanted to try it. Where is Carlisle?"

"Him and Esme left…they did not want to get involved with their plans. Carlisle broke his and Esme's cell phones so we couldn't contact them." Aunt Rose said.

Just then Mom looked alert and shook her head, "Wow that was a rush."

"Wait your not drunk anymore?" Uncle Em asked rather disappointed

"I guess not…cool! Hey Jake think we can sneak this in?" Mom asked excitedly

"I can't see why not. Besides do they check bags?" He asked

"I doubt they will."

"Awesome."

"Totally."

"WILL YOU ALL PLEASE TELL US WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" We shouted unable to contain ourselves any longer.

"ROCKY HORROR IS GOING ON!"

"What the hell is Rocky Horror?" Aunt Rose asked

Mom and Jake looked at each other. Then Jake said, "We cannot explain the fantastic awesomeness that is Rocky Horror."

"It's a movie and live performance. The performance makes fun of the movie. But it is amazing." Mom said

"People dress up and it's totally epic." Jake said vaguely

"Did you say dress up? OMG! I have the cutest outfit I can get you girls in! Come on Bella take off that ugly coat and come on!" Aunt Ali shrieked

"Sorry Alice not this time. I am going to get you and Rose into the proper costumes for this event. Hey did you bring the guys costumes?" Mom asked Jake

He smirked and held up a bag, "Oh yea."

Mom smiled, "Ok then here is the list of the assigned people that they are portraying."

Jake held the list and read it. Daddy's face became frustrated, "Bells do you have to block him?"

Mom smiled evilly, "Yes I do."

"Holy Crap seriously? You want him as the-"

"Yes I do."

Jake looked up and said in a perfect imitation of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, "Excellent."

Before anyone could speak Mom pulled Rose and Alice upstairs and Jake took Dad, Emmett, and Jasper with him leaving me by my lonesome self. Doesn't anyone love me?

**10 minutes later-**

After fighting with Rose and Alice mom got them into their costumes and the trench coats. Jake, by the looks, of it had just as much problems with the guys.

Once we were ready Mom grabbed the bags of stuff and we were out the door and were greeted with a black van.

"Jake seriously? We are not taking that." Mom told him. I can tell that neither of my aunts or uncles or my Dad was happy. We had given up on asking and I can tell he was not happy…I wonder why I did not get a costume…

"Trust me honey you do not want one." Dad muttered to me. I sighed…I give up.

"Come on Bells I fixed it up. It probably goes faster than the Volvo now. Besides this way we only have to take one car…and the theater is in a bad neighborhood right?" Jake reasoned

Mom looked at us and said, "Fine I call shot gun!"

Jake and Mom raced to the van and we walked to our impending doom.

It only took us fifteen minutes to get to the theater and parked the car. When we reached the entrance Mom and Jake nodded their heads. Daddy, Emmett, and Jasper slid their coats while Alice and Rose did the same thing…each had a reaction of shock written on their faces…but none compared of the shock when Mom and Jake took off their coats.

Our combined faces: 0.o

WHAT THE HELL?


	3. The Fun Just Begins

Ok so thank you to all who favorite, alerted, and reviewed for this story! The warning is still the same, to see the warning click back to the pervious chapter. Also I will say that there is mention of drinking so I will say that I _**DO NOT**_ condone underage drinking.

**Fun Times at Rocky Horror**

**Nessie POV-**

Daddy-Dr. Frank n Furter

Daddy had on white powder face make-up, fire truck red lipstick and blue eye shadow with dark eyeliner. How did I not notice this when we were leaving the house? With white pearls, and black elbow gloves that revealed his fingers. With a black corset that was obviously belonging to Mommy, because of how small it was and how far the strings in the front were stretched revealing his muscles. Still the worst part was yet to be seen, he had on female black panties with a garter belt to keep his fishnets all the way up his thigh and simple two inch heels. I will never look at him the same way again…nor Jakey for that matter…how the hell did he even convince Daddy to do this anyway?

Mommy-Janet

Mommy, who was the one to drag us all to this was out in public in her under garments. She had on a simple no pattern white bra with matching panties, while she wore a slip that was ripped at the elastic so that nothing was going un-shown. I feel so ashamed right now…I will never ever look at Mommy the same way either.

Emmett- Riff-Raff

Uncle Emmett was wearing a long sleeved suit coat that had long coat trails while underneath was a simple, yet dirty, white shirt. He was also eyeing Daddy and Mommy weirdly…I really wish I could read minds.

Alice- Columbia

With a big red bow at the base of her neck being the normal-ist of the items on her. She had on a golden sparkly tub-top. With a golden coat with a black collar, while the end had end tails the front stopped with the top at the very top of her waist. To meet the tub-top were black striped short shorts that consisted of lavender, pink, yellow and blue strips. With fishnet stockings and golden sparkle tap heels to match her coat. Despite the fact that it was Mommy's idea of dressing I wonder how Auntie Alice was feeling.

Jasper- Eddie

He had on biker jeans and his blonde hair was up in a rocker style. He was in a leather vest and, if I must say, half way descent. He was also in biker boots and had a chain around the belt hanging on the side.

Rosalie- Magenta

Aunt Rose I have to say was in a sexy and tight and in a nut shell a maids outfit. She had on a deep V neck that showed her "boys" a white collar on the neck that held kept her apron from sliding down her neck, which was tied at the waist over the black dress that was almost shorter than her sailor scout uniform! Her fishnets were held up by a garter belt and she wore dicks combat boots. How Mommy managed to pull this off…I have not a clue.

Mom smiled and Jake smiled back…I was now furious. Jake was in a simple sweater vest with kacky jeans and wearing fake glasses…looking in lamest terms a dork.

"Well shall we go in?" Mom asked us but Daddy grabbed her and said, "We have to talk…Now!"

Daddy then dragged her away from us.

"Well if daughters end up like their mothers then I have much to look forward too." Jake said out loud.

Before anyone could do or say anything I punched him square in the nose.

"OUCH! Damn it Nessie! What the hell?" He yelled

Aunt Rose and Aunt Ali looked at me surprised…Rose was the first to recover, "Well at least she did not break her hand like Bella did when he kissed her that one time."

"HE WHAT?" I shrieked…once again I rounded on Jake.

**Edward POV-**

"We have to talk…Now!" I growled at her. Honestly this was going way too far.

We went into a secluded area away from public eye, which was hard to find. I could've sworn I heard and saw an overly weight, looked like he had way too much to drink, dude whistle and winked at my wife! His thoughts are even too inappropriate for me to repeat. AND WHAT WAS UNBELIEVEABLE WAS MY _**WIFE**_ WINKED AND WAVED AT THE SLOB!

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET RAPED? YOU ARE WEARING SOMETHING THAT SHOULD GO ON A POLE OR HOLLIPHOOP DANCER!" I yelled at her. Seriously? What was her and Jake thinking when they decided to do this?

"Oh Edward please…why are you being a fun sucker? And don't raise your voice, people are staring." Bella smiled like nothing was wrong. She winked at me and I felt my fist ball up tight and shake.

"You and Jake are going way too far with the fun!"

"Sweet heart puh-lease the fun hasn't even begun." Bella twirled and I felt my eye twitch. She is acting like a child and not my Bella at all, "Now if we are done with the heart to heart thing let's get back to the group."

I sighed and followed…what torture awaits us inside that theater?

**Emmett POV-**

I knew it was a trap…Jake told us that the girls thought we would look sexy…through I admit that Rose looks pretty damn sexy in that maid outfit. Nessie on the other hand looks scared for life at the way she looked at Edward and Bella.

Damn Bella does look hot though! I heard Edward growl. Sorry dude but you should be happy about that. He turns and gave me a death look.

"Edward buddy chill." Jake said

"Chill? HOW THE FUCK DO EXPECT ME TO CHILL WHEN _**MY WIFE**_ IS BEING LOOKED AT LIKE SHE IS DINNER FOR SOME RAPIST?" Edward flipped on him. Nessie cringed and clung to me.

"Make him stop please…" She whined. Wow where is that tough girl that beat up a werewolf?

"Edward please love. You are Dr. Frank n Furter…he is the only one that gets with Janet in the movie…" Bella said then she purred in his ear, "If you know what I mean…"

I saw him shiver….boy what the hell happened to my little sis?

**Alice POV-**

Ok wow…uhm I have nothing…I can't see…I can't even comprehend as to what the hell just happened. How did my sister backslash best friend even out do me in ridiculousness to the degree of ridiculousness? I mean grant it Rose and Emmett are not minding and of course Jasper looks hot and sexy but seriously? I thought Edward was going to blow a gasget…and Nessie….wow. Here I thought Bella was feisty.

Well this can't get any worse can it?

**Rose POV-**

Emmett is totally hot! And wow Bella chose an excellent costume for me! Sexy maid who'd a thought that she would come up with this.

**Jasper POV-**

So many emotions from Bella: Lust and Love, Freedom, and Happy. Jeez this was a weird night. Jake had said that this was Bella's idea. And I must say she did a good job…I love Alice's costume. This is going to be fun…I hope.

**Nessie POV-**

I really had no clue what was going on, I mean at all! Nothing made sense anymore! A pair of lips started to sing on the screen as Mom and Jake started to pour the alcohol. Mom was mixing it with blood of course. She offered some to the others but they declined. She shrugged and clinked glasses with Jake and they drank instead.

_The movie screen showed a pair of lips singing a slow and sweet song, _I felt my eyes grow heavy but I knew I couldn't fall asleep._ Then it seemed to be the marriage of the two main characters, one was in the same clothing that Jake had mimicked. _I blinked between the two and then I felt my hair flooded with rice! What the hell? _The couple had pulled to the side and the weirdest proposal song was sung 'DAMN IT! JANET!'_ Mom and Jake scared me by singing along with the words, I really hope that isn't the way that he would purpose to me someday…I would have never thought that, but now I wouldn't put it past him.

I can tell that Rose, Ali, Jasper, Emmett, and Daddy was scared too by all of this…they had no clue as to what was going on either. Their eyes were twitching and every so often they stole glances at Mom and Jake.

I blinked and now newspapers were handed out and I was sprayed in the face in what seemed every direction, apparently when you don't get dressed up you are an automatic target because everyone likes to hit a 'Rocky Horror Virgin'_ The song 'OVER AT THE FRANKENSTIEN PLACE' the stereo typical hunched over butler answered the door for the wet couple that just wanted to use the phone…_that doesn't seem that bad? …. _the song 'TIME WARP' struck its first few notes and the whole theater was on its feet_ Plus let's add the icing on the cake my mom dragged daddy out to the center of the theater and _**EVERYONE**_ started to hoot and holler.

_**It's astounding, time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll  
But listen closely, not for very much longer  
I've got to keep control **_

_**I remember doing the Time Warp  
Drinking those moments when  
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling  
Let's do the time warp again...  
Let's do the time warp again!  
**_  
Why is this happening? Daddy looked lost and just followed Mommy's lead. Jake was no help at all and everyone is spraying silly string at me!...WHERE DID THEY GET THE SILLY STRING FROM AND HOW COME I DON'T HAVE ANY?

"It's because you aren't dancing." Mom came over and led me out into the center of the room and started to help me dance, "Plus I think you might actually like it if you try." I gave her a look, "Just a hint hint, nudge nudge, poke poke. Just follow the words, it's that simple."

_**It's just a jump to the left**_

The room all moved to the left and I was slammed by Jake who was too caught up in the moment.

_**With your hands on your hips**_

I felt my hands on the floor feeling the mushy rice that had littered the floor not five minutes ago. I found myself surround by my family who had formed a circle. Everyone seemed to be having fun after the initial shock.

_**You bring your knees in tight**_

Evil smiles spread like butter across Jake's and Mom's faces.

_**But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane**_

Next thing I know I have a mouth full of short shorts, micro mini's and female panties. NO YEARS OF THERAPY CAN CORECT THIS!

_**Let's do the Time Warp again!**_

I watched my mom drag Jake out and soon everyone came into the montage pit and danced.  
"Come on Nessie!" He said spraying me with the silly string that is not so silly anymore

"Will you cool it with the string! I had rice thrown at me, I was sprayed with water, and now this?" I shouted over the loud music that even a deaf person would be able to hear.

"Oh come on!" He led me through the moves and started to force me do this dance...Just because I let him lead me I still didn't quite forgive him.

_**It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me  
So you can't see me, no not at all  
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention  
Well-secluded, I see all  
With a bit of a mind flip  
You're there in the time slip  
And nothing can ever be the same  
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation  
Let's do the Time Warp again! **_

You know how I was against this whole thing...well I think I'm actually enjoying it.  
"NESSIE YOU'RE A PRO AT THIS DANCE!" Jake shouted.

I was actually having a little fun I gotta admit! Maybe this was not too bad after all. I caught Dad's eye and he smiled as he danced with mom as if to say that he agreed. In fact everyone looked like they were having fun. Rose and Emmett where dancing like no tomorrow and Alice and Jasper were throwing off moves that would have been impossible if you were not a vampire.

_**Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think  
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink  
He shook me up, he took me by surprise  
He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes.  
He stared at me and I felt a change  
Time meant nothing, never would again  
Let's do the Time Warp again!**_

Everyone was going back into their seats and I was actually disappointed.

"Here," Jake said as he handed me a can

"What's this?" I asked

"Silly string! You earned it. Bells said that if I got you to dance I can let you have it." He said with a smile  
Even with his eyes a little black and blue from that beating I gave him earlier, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and leaned over past Alice and whispered to my mom.

"Hey mom I want to show you something." I said

"What is it?" She asked back

"This!" I sprayed the can down her bra and she screamed. Everyone turned and looked at us and laughed

"That kid is really into the spirit of this." I heard one guy saying while he nudged his friend.  
Daddy couldn't stop laughing either. And I let her go and sat back down next to Jake with a satisfying smile on my face...that is until the next part...


	4. Insanity to the Max!

Ok so thank you to all who favorite, alerted, and reviewed for this story! The warning is still the same, to see the warning click back to the pervious chapter. Also I will say that there is mention of drinking so I will say that I _**DO NOT**_ condone underage drinking.

**Fun Times at Rocky Horror**

When the final cords were sung for 'Time Warp' everyone was laughing and having a good time. Now it seemed that everyone was taking their seats…but several other male cross dressers had stayed standing.

"Why are they still standing?" Edward made the futile mistake of asking…Bella and Jake looked at each other and grinned evilly.

_**How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman  
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked  
He thought you were the candyman.  
Don't get strung out by the way that I look,  
Don't judge a book by its cover  
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover**_

A random dude in the same costume as Edward came up to him while singing and pulled him out of his seat. Edward cringed at his thoughts and pulled him into the dance!__

_**I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.**_

"NO AMOUNT OF THERAPY CAN EVER MAKE THIS RIGHT!" Nessie cried in desperation. Emmett and Alice both pulled out cameras and Jake and Bella was laughing hysterically. Rose was cringing because she could not speak.

_**So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound  
You look like you're both pretty groovy  
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal  
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.**_

_**I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?  
We're both in a bit of a hurry.  
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car  
We don't want to be any worry.**_

"THOSE POOR PEOPLE JUST WANT TO USE THE PHONE! WHY WHOULD HE SING ABOUT BEING A TRANSVESTITE?" Rose screamed making all the other dressed up transvestites come to dance for her, Bella almost died with laughter when this one man that waddled down the aisle in a side step motion because he was too fat decide to attempt to give her a lap dance.

"OH GOODESS WHY ME?" Rose was actually crying at this point so Emmett dragged the guy up the aisle and started a rather sexual dance with him to get him away from his wife. Alice was still laughing and taking pictures.

"They just wanted the phone? Why is all this happening?" Nessie begged her mother for an answer which only made Jake and Bella roar with laughter. Jake held her close to him while his chest rose and fell with laughter.

_**So you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?  
Well babies, don't you panic.  
By the light of the night when it all seems alright  
I'll get you a satanic mechanic. **_

_**I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania. **_

"Oh sweet heart they are going to need more than a phone..." Alice said to the now distraught, mentally scared child.

"But-but-the phone and-and what does he mean about a satanic mechanic?" Nessie asked and then added, "Why the hell would you sing about being a transvestite?"

"I will spare whatever sanity that your poor mind has and say you don't want to know." Rose said kind of feeling sorry to the girl because sadly she was the one that was getting. She grabbed her camera and was watching Emmett's face as he was still dancing with the overly large dude that should not be wearing the garments that he has on.

Edward was still cringing and still dancing with his partner. _I wonder what I did to deserve this? What would my parents think of me if they saw me?_

Emmett's thoughts: _Is Rose really worth this torture? _

Edward looked in his direction and found him. When seeing the guy that he was dancing with it was a good thing that he could not vomit because his thoughts were just that sick, "No Emmett she is not."

_**So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?  
I could show you my favorite obsession.  
I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan  
And he's good for relieving my tension **_

"Nessie honey I forgot to ask, do you know what a transvestite is?" Bella asked with a smile like a cat ate the mouse whole.

"I can guess..." She said looking to Alice for comfort, but no one could stop Bella.

"Well a transvestite like your father was before I had met him; is a man who is very flamboyant and has homosexual tendencies and often prefers to dress in the opposite sexes clothing." She said leaning over Alice so that her hand was on Nessie's shoulder. "I thought we had taught you that?"

Nessie cringed and Rose put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Alice and Jasper where both shaking with laughter at Bella's explanation. Come on Edward a transvestite? Alice gasped as she remembered a picture…she would have to show Bella later.

_**I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania**_

When the song ended Edward and Emmett were both now scared. Rose kissed Emmett and Bella comforted Edward. She had offered them a drink but they still declined. How much worse can it get? They asked…but that again was the wrong question to ask.

"Mommy why are they taking off their clothing?" Nessie asked as they took clothing for coats.

"Honey let me tell you this, never drink." Bella drained the bottom of her cup.

"How did the other people get up-"

"Are you trying to make sense of this?" Alice laughed.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?" Nessie cried out.

"SLUT!" "WHORE!" "TAKE IT OFF!" the crowd jeered at the screen throwing silly string.

"SHIT OUT OF LUCK AND JOLLY WELL FUCKED IF YOU GO UP STAIRS!" Nessie yelled getting into the spirit for the second time that night

"That girl should learn some manners," a transvestite said behind her.

Nessie turned around ignoring the look her mother gave her, "You should damn well skimpy not be talking to me you half drunken transvestite wanna be! My daddy can out transvestite you any day of the week!" The whole theater lost it and laughed even the actors. Edward sank low in his chair. Emmett leaned over and whispered, "She sure thinks highly of you…is there something that you have been keeping from us?" Edward growled.

"THAT SACK YOU'RE CARRING SHOWS YOU'RE GAYNESS BUT ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO LET HIM STEAL YOUR FRICKING FIANCE?" Nessie screamed as the theater turned to look at her. She slowly out of embarrassment sank in her seat.

"Some people get way to into this," the actor in the transvestite costume said.

Nessie had closed her eyes in embarrassment for some time but when she opened them she didn't expect to see…

"WHERE DID HE COME FROM?...IS THAT MEATLOAF?"

"If you were paying attention you would've known that he came out of the freezer chamber." Bella said as she pointed to Alice and Jasper dancing without a pole.

"I SO DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS!" Nessie shouted but then said, "Can't anyone love me?" she was rocking back and forth in her chair, "They just wanted a phone…a phone? How hard is a phone?"

"Man can we say Bi-Po-Lar?" a drunken transvestite said behind her the same one she flipped shit at.

Bella and Edward were now dancing. She was happy that she got Edward to loosen up and kissed him. He sighed and the sensation and was now enjoying himself a little bit…that is until Jake had asked out loud, "What would happen if I rode a motorcycle with Nessie?"

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT YOU ARE TAKING MY DAUGHTER ON A VEHICLE THAT HAS DEATH WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!" Edward shouted dropping Bella.

"EDWARD!" Bella shouted rubbing her backside. She had thought she was done doing that. She was a vampire for god sakes!

"Yes sir!" Jake gulped not knowing what he was saying because he was too drunk. He felt like he was being reprimanded like a five year old.

"DID THEY JUST KILL EDDIE? WHAT THE FUCK?" Nessie stood on her chair ignoring the fact that her father was threatening her imprint.

"HE LOOKED PREETY DAMN HOT!" Nessie shouted.

"NESSIE WHAT THE HELL? I'M BEING REPERMENDED BY YOUR DAD AND YOU'RE DROOLING OVER ANTOHTER GUY?" Jake's voice squeaked while Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper laughed.

"Hey Jasper you got killed by Edward, I think that Jake is next." Emmett joked.

"PEEPING TOM!" Rose called out.

"GAY BASTARD!" Emmett screamed.

"WHORE!" Alice jeered at Bella.

"SLUT!" Jake yelled at Bella splashing beer.

"AND PROUD OF IT! CHEERS!" Bella yelled and she and Jake clacked glasses. They then refilled their cups.

"Wait mommy isn't that you?" Nessie asked

"Yes honey think if this as a home movie." She kissed Edward…but Edward was freaking out, "YOU SAID YOU NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Oh she didn't have a boyfriend. More like boyfriends. Emphasis on the 's'" Jake said in a slurred voice defending her. Edward, if he could, would be turning funky shades of purples and reds. He really did not want to hear that from his ex-rival.

"Oh relax Eddie it was a bunch of 'Fake out Make Outs' that just may have gone too far at times." Bella's voice was starting to slur.

"Oh yea! Remember when we did the 'Fake Out Make Out' in your Dad's closet!" Jake exclaimed with laughter.

"Oh yea! I thought he was going to have a heart attack!" Bella laughed.

They laughed until Jake caught Nessie's eye, "Wait Ness it was not my idea it was her's!" Jake pointed at Bella. But he got a punch in the jaw anyway.

"YOU BASTARD THAT'S THE THRID TIME TONIGHT YOU TRIED TO CHEAT ON ME WITH MY MOTHER NO LESS! BUT ROCKY WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Nessie shouted, "Oh Rocky I feel your pain."

"HE'S NOT REAL!" Jake shouted back.

"NEITHER IS OUR LOVE IF YOU KEEP CHEATING ON ME!"

Only Edward could sit there now looking contempt as he tried to figure out what his life would be like if Jake was out of the picture.

Skipping to the end where they are dancing on a stage after being re-animated.

"Mommy what is going on now?" Nessie asked apprehensively.

"You, know I think the writer just got board." Bella said questioning it herself.

"Like the one writing this?"

"Yes preciously, my very bipolar and scared child." Bella patted Nessie's head

"Here is another one….Why were they statures and where did the pool come from?"

No one had an answer except for the one that decided to do this in the first place, "Sweetie that is why I have had 15 shots, and 5 beers mixed with blood and Jake had the same amount except without the blood and we have 5 drivers hear that are able to drive home because they are not intoxicated." Bella said with a slur in her voice.

"Ok then…besides the fact that I am now scared I am still asking why are they all hugging in the water?" Rini asked. "Wouldn't they drown?"

"Well it's called an orgy but you can ask your mom about that." Jake said with a smile.

"It is when a group of people have sex together." Bella sighed.

"I THOUGHT THE DOCTOR WAS THE SANE ONE? AND WHAT IS WITH THE LEGS?" Nessie cried out.

"SHE'S POPPING OUT OF HER TOP! SWEET!" Jake screamed pointing at the screen,

"If you like that here's this!" Bella held onto the her bra like she was going to take it off,

"NO YOU DON'T THAT IS MINE!" Edward yelled pulling Bella back.

"Oh, I love it when you get all rough and manly." Bella traced her hand up and down his chest.

Later after that scene, Riff-Raff shoots Rock, Camilla, and Frank.

"DUDE HE KILLED HIM! WHY ROCKY DON'T GO!" Nessie started to cry on her knees pressing in to the soupy mess on the theater floor, Jake just looked down and slapped his head, he had given up.

"She didn't drink anything so what the fuck?" Edward said in a hushed tone to Bella.

"She gets the drama from your side." Bella said wagging a hand in the air.

"I think it is from both." Rose said to Alice who nodded as an agreement, "Mainly Bella's."

"MUTANY!" Bella cried.

"Hey I was wondering how do they get home?" Jake asked.

"They never got to the phone did they?" Nessie asked getting over Rocky.

"THERE WAS NEVER A PHONE! ENOUGH OF THE PHONE! GET OVER IT!" Jasper yelled filled with too much emotion.

Everyone was shocked as he hardly yells, "Sorry." He muttered

"Did he drink anything?" Emmett asked

"He is high on emotions." Alice responded

"So that is kind of like his source of pot?" Jake wondered

"Yeah pretty much. Emotions are his brand of weed." Rose said

Jake nodded as they all got up to leave, but not before Edward stopped him, "give me the keys now."

Jake started to whimper, "But-But-Daddy- I wanna drive!"

"No. If you love Nessie give me the keys." Edward shot him a look and pointed to now a sleeping Nessie in Alice's arms…as Bella was now too drunk to even hold her.

Jake pouted and handed them over. Edward sighed and walked out followed by the rest of the group.


	5. Drinking equals Drama

Let's see the list that I have created:

The warning is still the same

More mention of drinking and I will say again that I _**DO NOT**_ condone underage drinking

Insanity still ensues our friends and drama is expected.

I believe because Nessie is a half vampire she still has to sleep so yea that is what is going to happen.

Ok this is going to be more toward the triangle with Bella/Edward/Jake…meaning that still deep down Jake still cares about Bella though it's more of brother. You'll see in a bit.

And I still do not own Twilight otherwise I would continue Midnight Sun.

Enjoy!

**Fun Times at Rocky Horror**

As they exited the van, Edward carried an out-of-it Nessie, with Jake following closely behind leaning on Emmett and Jasper to stay stable, while Bella was leaning on Alice and Rose for the same reason. When they had reached the house Nessie had stirred in her father's arms. She had dozed off at the end of the movie; the day had been long and tiring. Actually scratch that: the week had been long and tiring.

"Are we home Daddy?" she asked as she went to reach up and hug him but found that her body was bound in his jacket. She wasn't cold but she was comfortable.

"Shhh. It's time to go to sleep pumpkin." He smiled as he suppressed a shiver. It wasn't because it was cold, hell he is a vampire he does not get cold. Rather it was the nerves.

"Good night." She said as she went into her room that Esme had done for when Bella and Edward was there visiting. Everyone mumbled a good night. Alice and Rose placed Bella in the living room and Emmett and Jasper did the same thing with Jake. They both mumbled a good night and claimed that they needed to lie down. Who knew vampires could get exhausted? They had fun but it was too much fun.

"Love I am going to go in the room. You coming?" Edward asked Bella gently.

Bella shook her head to clear the mist that was forming, "In a bit." She said

Edward nodded and kissed her and he went upstairs. Jake and Bella then smirked and walked into the kitchen. Bella and had cracked open a bottle of Black Stone Red Wine, the aroma filled the room and the drowsy Jake had aroused and poured himself a glass while Bella mixed hers. Just because the party poopers went off did not mean that their fun was up yet.

"You don't think that you can get out of opening a bottle of Red without me." Jake smiled.

"Don't you think you had enough?" asked Bella coming up from behind and stole his glass, "I think you drank enough tonight."

"But-but-one glass won't hurt," Jake pleaded hoping his friend would see the light and let him have at least the one glass.

After three bottles were drained words were slurred and they had started to blared music and dirty dance. By that point Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose came downstairs. With a little convincing curtsy of Bella and Jake they tried some of the concoction…

"HEY BELLA DO YOU REMEBER WHEN YOU WERE DRUNK AT 15 AT THAT PARTY?" Jake shouted louder than needed.

"OR...ORRRR...ORRR WHEN SHE STARTED TO BECOME A POLE DANCER AND WHORE HERSELF OUT WHEN WE HAD THAT EXTREME GAME OF TRUTH OR DARE! HAHAHAHAH! REMEMBER JASPER" Emmett laughed as he and Jasper leaned on each other.

"NO-NO-NO THE BESTTT PART WAS WHEN EDWARD BROKE UP WITH HER OVER A STUPID INCIDENT!" Alice crackled.

"OH-OH AND SHE CRIED FOR MONTHS AND I HERE THAT SHE DRANK THIS NASTY LOVE POTION THAT MADE HER SICK FOR A WEEK! THINKING THAT IT WOULD GET HIM BACK!" Rose joined in remembering a conversation that she overheard once they went back to school…curtsy of Jessica Stanly.

After being upstairs watching his daughter sleep Edward could not take it anymore…this was getting out of hand. Going downstairs he was grabbed by Jake and pulled into a headlock. He made a face at the alchol that was in his breath.

"DAMN EDWARD YOU BROKE UP AND HURT HER SOOOOO MANY TIMES!" Jake said as Bella looked at her drained glass and then took the bottle and chugged the end.

"Jake please let me go." Edward pleaded.

"Eddie...bro…home dog drink this!" Emmett came up to him with a large glass of wine and blood.

"No Emmett I do not want-" too late…Emmett forced the liquid down his throat.

After five more minutes, ten refills, and more of recalling of 'Fun times with Bella'.

"HEY, I HAD GOOOOD REASSONS FOR LIEING TO HER!" Edward said in an attempt at defense after Jake's comments about leaving her.

"Enough." Bella said quietly as she felt venom sting her eyes knowing that she can't cry.

"NOPE! SHE ALWAYS FORGAVE AND FORGET! THAT IS THE POWER OF LOVE!" Edward said dramatically.

"No more about this!" Bella said asserting herself.

"ROSE STAND UP STRAIGHT!" Rose stood up straight and Alice wrapped her legs around Rose's waist and bent backwards so that she was hanging on Bella. "WHO AM I?" the others burst into laughter.

"I SAID THAT IS ENOUGH! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOMS AND SOBER UP!" Bella told her with as an extra feature her golden eyes turned black.

Alice mumbled a fine; the group went upstairs leaving Bella, Jake, and Edward to themselves. Once they made sure that they weren't in hearing distance they burst out laughing!

"Did you like watch them throughout that whole movie?" Bella asked pouring herself another glass but almost slopped it all over the floor.

"I know right. But Nessie was even funnier. She reminded me of you when I first took you to see that move!" Jake agreed also pouring himself a glass.

"That was the first time I had fun in a really long time!" Edward laughed.

They sat down on the stools and it was quiet until…

"I can't believe you told your daughter that you were a stripper! What kind of mother are you?" Jake said suddenly angry

"Hey don't put that on me! It was Edward's fault!" Bella said equaling his anger.

Edward then got suddenly angry, "How the bleeding Christ is that my fault that you turned out to be a fucking stripper?"

"You left and then not even one phone call or letter! What else was I suppose to do?" Bella shouted back.

"Oh here we go again with this bull shit!" Edward yelled standing up and slamming his glass down causing it to shatter, "We've been through this many times! Not my fault you're insecure! I left for your fucking safety! Not my fault you go and hang out with fucking dogs by breaking your promise!"

"HEY I RESENT THAT COMMENT! AT LEAST WE KEPT HER SAFE FROM THAT LAURANT DUDE! WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU?" Jake yelled back throwing his glass against the wall causing the glass to shatter and sending the red liquor all over the entrance to the new white carpet in the living room.

"I WAS OFF TRACKING VICTORIA!" Edward shouted at Jake.

"YEA ON THE WRONG FUCKING CONTIENT YOU MOTHER FUCKING FAIL AT TRACKING BASTARD!" Bella yelled at Edward throwing her glass at his head. He dodged and instead it hit the wall, "BESIDESMY INSECURITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! PLUS I TOLD MY DAUGHTER THE TRUTH INSTEAD OF TRYING TO HIDE IT!"

"ARE YOU THAT BLONDE? WAIT YOUR BRUNETT UNLESS YOU LIED TO ME AGAIN! BUT I'M NOT A FUCKING TRANSVESTITE! AT LEAST I TRIED TO KEEP YOU SAFE, BUT NO…YOU WERE ON A MISSION TO SEE TO IT THAT YOU GOT HURT!" Edward continued to shout.

"SHE WAS DOING IT SO SHE COULD HEAR AND SEE YOU DAMN IT!" Jake shouted back at him.

Upstairs in the bedrooms exaggerated sighing could be heard. The shouts caused them to sneak out of their rooms meeting with Nessie on the stairwell.

"What are you doing up?" Alice asked in a slurred voice while thinking, sleep would be welcoming at the moment. Can vampires get hangovers?

"I heard yelling and I wanted to check it out." Nessie said while rubbing her eyes.

"OH GREAT JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR! MY LOVE WAS ON A PYSCOPATHIC SUCIDE MISSION JUST TO HEAR MY VOICE!" Edward roared

"HEY AT LEAST I WAS LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANTED ME TO LIVE! I WAS FUCKING CATATONIC FOR SIX FUCKING MONTHS AFTER YOU LEFT ME IN THE FUCKING WOODS! YOU ARE LUCKY THAT I STILL LOVED YOU AFTER THAT!" Bella's voice reached their ears.

"YEA YOU UNGREATFUL MOTHER FUCKING LEECH! IF IT WASN'T FOR BELLA I WOULD HAVE PERSONALLY RIPPED YOU APART LIMB FROM LIMB AND BURNED YOU! SCREW THE FUCKING TREATY TO HELL!" Jake yelled.

"What are they yelling about?" Nessie asked in disbelief. She never heard Jake yell before

Rose slapped her head, "Not this argument again."

Alice heaved a sigh, "I wonder what caused it this time."

"What is it about?" Nessie pressured

"They're yelling about the time your father left your mother…you see it went more in depth than what you saw a few days ago you see Jake-" Emmett was cut off by Edward's voice,

"IF IT WASN'T FOR BELLA I WOULD HAVE RIPPED YOU APART WHEN YOU KISSED HER THAT NIGHT!"

"I AM SO SICK OF THE THIS SHIT! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT JAKE WAS GOING TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU IF YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE FIRST PLACE! I TOLD YOU THAT WHAT JASPER DID WAS NOTHING!" Bella hollered back

She needed protection and he wasn't there…he does not deserve her, Jake thought.

"DAMN STRAIGHT SHE NEEDED PROTECTION! SHE NEEDED IT FROM YOU!" Edward yelled in response

"FROM ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU? SHE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED IN ITALY FOR SAVING YOUR SORRY ASS!" Jake hollered back, "SHE WAS SAFER WITH US!"

"Ok basically what your mother yelled pretty much sums it up. We leave, Bella hangs with wolves, Jake falls for her, and when Edward comes back from his suicidal trip in Italy it is a love triangle." Jasper said quickly but then they heard a low growl.

"SHE BELONGES WITH US! IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN US!" Edward retaliated back.

Bella had not yelled in a while but she was shaking with rage. She was a fucking vampire and they dare talk about her as if she was the same 'fragile' human?

"IF YOU AND YOUR GOD DAMN FAMILY STAYED IN FUCKING ALASKA SHE WOULD NOT HAVE HAD THE PROBLEMS THAT SHE'S HAD! SHE WAS FUCKING HUMAN! I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU THAT DAY WHEN YOU FUCKING TURNED HER!" Jake was now shaking

"OH SO YOU WOULD RATHER HER HAVE DIED INSTEAD OF LIVING FOREVER? SHE WAS A WALKING DEATH TRAP! AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN! WHETHER I WAS HERE OR NOT!" Edward yelled back.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back, "ENOUGH!" Bella roared.

The house shook and Bella released her shield that caused windows to shatter and that sent Jake and Edward flying through the living room and threw the walls so that they were not outside.

She was so mad that you could see the static radiating off her shield that surrounded her.

"ARE YOU CRAZY WOMAN!" Edward and Jake both yelled not even realizing what had just taken place.

Bella punched Jake in the jaw that sent a cracking echo that people would mistake for thunder and then she slapped Edward that had the same effect.

"CRAZY ENOUGH TO NOT HAVE LEFT SOONER!" Bella said as she ran away.

"Well this is a new turn to the argument." Alice said.

"Esme is going to be pissed." Jasper shivered still feeling Bella, Edward, and Jake's emotions.

"I think we are going to find out sooner than we thought." Emmett winced.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked

They heard a car pull up and they raced downstairs to see Edward and Jake looking at each other then at the house then back at the car.

"Grandma and Grandpa are back." Nessie said

Before they could get a swear word out Esme hollered, "MY HOUSE! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE?"

Carlisle eyed them and said, "You all have some explaining to do."

They gulped.


	6. Forgivness and Preview

Ok so this is the last chapter…I am sorry that this took so long to do but I got busy with school work and junk. But yea I hope that you all enjoyed the story and I am thinking about continuing this series of "Fun Times". I am thinking about going toward "Fun Times in Phoenix", just a few home movies. My idea for the next part is at the end of this chapter so read it and tell me what to think!

**Fun Times at Rocky Horror**

Bella sat in the meadow. She rocked back and forth in a constant motion. She hugged herself and sighed it was five in the morning but being a vampire she was not tired…just emotionally exhausted. The sun was just peaking its way across the building horizon.

"That's enough of this sulking." Rose said as she stood at the edge of the meadow with Alice, Jasper, and Emmett at her side.

"Did you know that when after the five months that he had gone, I tried had come here and contemplated that if he moved on what would become of me. The only future I ever saw was with him. This place was dead…then I saw Laurant and he delivered the message from Victoria and was about to kill me, claiming he would have done me a favor. It was Jake who saved me that day…but I did not know it at the time. I then started to have feelings for Jake, but at the time I was lost, I felt like I was cheating on him. I am awful." Bella said in a raspy dead voice as she felt the venom sting her eyes though the tears will never fall down her face.

"But Bella you honestly can't spend all day here." Alice said, "You have to face them."

"Thanks so much for the sympathy. Just get out of here and leave me be!" Bella shouted with venom in her voice.

"BELLA WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG? SO WHAT IF EDWARD AND JAKE STARTED TO BABY YOU? YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY THAT GUYS WERE FIGHTING OVER YOU! BESIDES YOU NEEDED PROTECTION CONSIDERING THE SHIT THAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO!" Rose spat in fierceness. Bella stood up and held her ground

"NEWS FUCKING FLASH! I NEVER NEEDED PROTECTION! I NEVER CARED THAT JASPER ATTACKED ME! HE WAS FORGIVEN THE DAY IT HAPPENED! HE WAS DEALING WITH SIX OTHER THIRSTY PEOPLE AND HIS OWN AND BY THE WAY EDWARD'S WAS THE WORSE OF THE LOT! BUT EDWARD AND JAKE CANNOT SEE THAT!" Bella said as she started to sob. "I AM SO SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE A PORCILNE DOLL!"

Jasper started to moan from the anger radiating off of Bella and Rose. Alice and Emmett was shocked at the shouting match…neither daring to choose sides just yet.

"Fine then! I thought you were strong but now I see when the going gets though, you give up. I thought you were different, strong, and independent. You are nothing but a needy little girl who was just playing with our families hearts." Rose said bitterly as Bella sunk to her knees.

"I don't want to go back and face them. Don't make me go back." Bella cried as Rose walked away. Then a thought dawned on her, "HEY WAIT A MINUTE WHO HAS FACED IMPENDING DEATH MORE?"

Rose turned around and saw Bella standing she was about to open her month but Bella continued, "WHO HAD TO FACE EDWARD WHEN HE WAS THIRSTY FOR MY BLOOD IN THAT BIOLOGY CLASS? WHO HAD TO FACE JAMES IN THAT FUCKING BALLET ROOM IN PHENOIX?"

To say that the siblings were in shock was an understatement. Bella never blew up at them before but now Bella could not stop, "NOT TOO MENTION LET'S ADD LEAVING THE 'HUMAN TO DEFEND HERSELF WHILE A PSYCOTIC VAMPIRE WAS OUT FOR REVENGE, AND HAVE MY HEART LITERALLY TEARED OUT BY MY FUCKING ASS UNGREATFUL SON OF A BITCH BOY FRIEND! OH WAIT FOR IT, DEALING WITH NEW WEREWOLVES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY UNSTABLE AS YOU ALL CLAIM, THEN GOING FACE TO FACE WITH THE VOLTURI, FIGHT IN A NEWBORN ARMY, GIVING BIRTH TO RENESMEE WHICH NEARLY KILLED ME, THEN MEETING THE VOLTURI AGAIN! THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU START RUNNING THE FUCKING MOUTH! I AM NOW FINALLY FED UP WITH THE BULL SHIT!"

"That's a low blow." Emmett said in a low voice.

"YOU KNOW WE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT HALF THAT SHIT! YOU DECIDED TO RUNAWAY FROM US IN PHENOIX TO SAVE YOUR MOM, YOU HUNG OUT WITH WOLVES SO I COULD NOT SEE YOU AND THEN YOU JUMPED OFF THAT CLIFF THAT CAUSED HIM TO GO TO ITALY IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Alice yelled.

"Bella be reasonable! You know that we love you and wanted to protect you!" Jasper pleaded with her.

"I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I NEVER ASKED TO BE PROTECTED!" Bella yelled.

"SO THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DONE BECAUSE OF A LITTLE SPAT?" Rose yelled at her fiercely.

"YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE THREE YEARS AND MARRIED FOR ONE, HAD A DAUGHTER AND AFTER GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING A FIGHT THAT'S IT?" Emmett yelled at her in disbelief.

"INCASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED SHIT HEAD THAT WASN'T THE FIRST FIGHT WE HAD! WE'VE HAD THE SAME FUCKING FIGHT BEFORE!" Bella yelled back, "BESIDES I KINEW THAT YOU ALL BLAMED ME FOR LEAVING IT WAS MY FAULT THAT HE WENT TO ITALY AND THAT JAKE GOT INVOLVED WITH OUR LIVES."

"BUT WE NEVER BLAMED YOU!" Alice cried out.

"I BLAMED MYSELF SO FUCKING MUCH THAT I NEEDED SOME FORM OF RESTITUTION! I COULD JUST FORGIVE MY BITCHY-CUNT-ASS OF A SELF! I JUST COULDN'T LET MYSELF GET AWAY WITH THIS! I DID IT AGAIN, HURTING OTHERS WITHOUT THINKING! I HATE THE FACT THAT I HURT YOU GUYS AND JAKE AND WORST OF ALL EDWARD! I DON'T AND NEVER WILL DESERVE HIM!" She started to run off but Emmett had grabbed her arm and swung her around so she was slammed into his chest.

"Bella I know we shouldn't have joked about that shit last night. We were stupid and drunken and stupid and we are sorry. Please you have always taught us to forgive and forget. Everything will be ok." He said trying to comfort the ultra-depressed emo sister.

But sadly she wouldn't hear of it, "I lied. I fucking lied. Everything wasn't fine. I thought I would've died that day when I jumped. I wished that I died that day, then Edward would deserve someone better and Jake wouldn't have to keep an eye on me." Bella pushed Emmett aside and started to walk away then turned to hand Rose her wedding ring, "Tell Edward and Jake that I am sorry and that I love them."

The watched her runaway.

Nessie pulled out her cell phone and called her mother, it was the 198th time that she had left a panic message franticly trying to find out where she was. While Jake had his 17th beer in his hand, he was more wasted than a paper basket. Edward was sitting on the floor with the wedding scrap book, the senior year book; scrap books that Bella had put together of all their dates and such. They had just finished getting yelled at by Carlisle and Esme while the rest of the family ran out to search for Bella.

"JAKE LOOK AT YOURSELF!" Nessie said furiously as she tried to lift him up but he was humming caramelldansen and rocking back and forth. Nessie shook her head and looked toward her father, "MOM COULD BE REALLY HURT AND YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS DO?"

"We told the truth, mmy my my sugary gum drop! Gum drops! Gum drops! They make your stomach plop!" Jake rocked back and forth while Edward was still a mute.

"Put that down!" Nessie took the beer from his hand that he was about to open.

"But, but, but I need it! I need need….are you my cousin Larry?" He asked as he cupped her face in his hands.

Nessie dragged him to the bath tub and put on the cold water faucet so that the ice shocked him to sober up partly, but his breath still raked of beer, "What round is it?"

Before Nessie could answer four very, very, very beyond pissed to be fit vampires came into the room and Alice and Rose didn't even notice Nessie in their fury as they slammed Edward and Jake against the mirror.

"WHAT THE FLYING FUCK BUTTER NUGETS IS THE MATTER WITH YOU LOSY GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF UNGREATFUL SHIT FROM THE BROWLES OF HELL?" Alice screamed into his face while Rose growled at Jake's face. Carlisle and Esme burst into the room and saw the scene but did nothing to stop it.

"What-are-you-talking-talking-about?" Edward managed to get out of the strangle hold Alice had on him, but she shoved him harder against the wall so that he fell short of un-needed breath.

"Guys, where is my mother?" Nessie asked trying to get the angry Alice away from her father and an angry Rose away from Jake.

"Alice let him go before you start to rip him apart or else Bella will never come back!" Jasper shouted even though secretly life for his sister would be a tad bit better.

"NEVER COME BACK?" Jake gasped

"WHERE IS MY WIFE?" Edward shouted at them.

"WHERE IS MY MOTHER?" Nessie yelled

"Ask you're oh so lovely Daddy that question…" Emmett said disgusted at Eward.

"Again what are you talking about?" Edward asked. The group looked at each other long and hard. Rose stepped forward while he stood there rubbing his bruised neck that Alice left behind

"She ran off," Rose said handing him the ring, "She was basically fed up with the bull shit. And all this happened because you guys had to have that fight with her!" Rose shouted the ending part.

Edward and Jake looked at each other and rubbed the back of their head and asked at the same time, "What fight?"

Jasper and Emmett lost it this time. Jasper punched Jake in the eye and Emmett punched Edward in the gut causing Nessie to gasp and clung to Carlisle and Esme. She never saw this done but then again she wasn't surprised since the last twenty-fours taught her that anything was possible.

"THE FIGHT THAT INVOLVED… I DON'T KNOW THAT YOUR DRUKEN ASSES CAUSED. CALLING HER A CUNT! REMINDING HER OF THE PAIN AND HELL SHE WENT THROUGH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE EVER SAW IN YOU TWO!" Jasper yelled at them. He punched Jake again and through him into the mirror.

"WE ALL FELL FOR YOUR JAMES BOND SHAKEN NOT STURED ADDUTIDE AND GUESS WHAT SHE IS CRYING HARDER THAN A GOTH BEFORE THEY TAKE THEIR LIVES!" Emmett yelled out at them as he kicked Edward in the gut, making him fall back into the pile of glass next to Jake who was cut on his cheeks and arms.

"Hit me again I deserve it." Jake said in apathy. Rose went to raise her fist to him again, but Alice grabbed hold of her wrist.

"THERE HAS BEEN ENOUGH OF THIS! WE HAVE SPENT ALL MORNING BEATINING ON OUR BROTHER AND SISTER AND OUR NIECE'S BOYFRIEND! WHAT THE FUCK? LOOK AT NESSIE SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON, YET SHE IS WATCHING US BEAT THEM!" Alice said as each of them looked at each other and then down in fear.

"HIT ME AGAIN! DON'T YOU THINK THAT I REALIZED THAT I HAVE HURT HER! HIT ME AGAIN DAMN IT!" Edward said in agony. Jake just sobbed and said, "I promised that I would protect her…I promised I would be there for her."

"Daddy…Jake, what happened?" She broke free from Carlisle and Esme and went towards them; she cupped Jake's bleeding face with one hand and forced her father to look at her with her other hand, "Daddy how did this get so messed up? Jake please talk to me." Nessie said as she started to cry.

"Honey daddy never told you something. After the I left mommy changed." Edward said as he

"What do you mean?" Nessie said as she wet a towel and began to sponge at Jake's wounds. He winced as she picked out the deeper pieces of glass.

"Your mother was like the living dead. Just barely existing. I told her that I would always be there for her. We started to hang out. Then one day she went to the movies with Jessica Stanly and they ran into these bikers…she claimed to have heard your father's voice that warned her to stay away from them." Jake continued in a sigh.

"Apparently from Charlie's thoughts she woke up screaming every night for me. And then she apparently started to do extreme sports." Edward said as he got up.

"And you know the rest pretty much. When they," Jake nodded toward her family behind her, "came back I thought that she was going to be hurt again. I promised I would protect her from everything. I told her that I would never let them hurt her again."

"And when I saw her with Jake I knew he was a possible danger to her so I sought to protect her also." Edward explained.

"Is this were this 'love' triangle comes in?" Nessie asked catching on to the double meanings. Not that she cared that Jake use to love her mother, but she wanted to understand.

They nodded and said, "Yes."

Jake started to explain as the group walked out of the room, "But just because I loved your mom; I obviously don't anymore…not that way at least. I love you Nessie." Nessie nodded and then said, "But where will she go?"

Jake and Edward looked at each other and nodded, "We know."

The cliff was the same as it was nearly two years ago. To everyone that knew the story it was the symbol of what would be the end for our favorite couple…the human and the vampire…to Bella it was the symbol of the control love could have over someone…but now she wanted nothing more than to jump into the raging water below and never resurface.

The smell of salt water filled Bella's nostrils as venom stung her eyes; she stared down the edge of the cliff. She remembered what she was doing the two years ago that Edward left her. She had really wanted to just do what Jake and the pack did for recreation. But when she heard the sweet musical velvet voice, she wanted to do nothing more than go into the darkness…never feel the hole in her chest again.

"Why did you do this to me?" Bella cried as she sat and pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself around the torso and let out all her emotions. Old habits die hard.

"Rose was right…I am nothing more than a winy cry baby. A spoiled self centered piece of shit that didn't have the right to live. No one loves me and no one cares. Why do I have to live! I was nothing more than a weak human." Bella looked around the area as it started to rain.

Thoughts ran through her mind as she wallowed in self apathy-

_I know nothing! I know nothing of the burden I cause them every day of my wretched life! I don't even know the pain that lies with their very soul! I don't even know what it means to be a true friend or a mother! I know nothing. I am nothing. I am merely a lost soul._

Images started to flash before her eyes: Edward looking like he wanted my blood, the baseball game where James and his coven first saw me, then James attacking me in the ballet studio and biting me, Edward sucking out the venom as James burned in the fire. Then my birthday party where Jasper attacked, Edward leaving me in the woods, Charlie's eyes the way he looked at me in pity when I was catatonic, then Jake in his wolf form saving me from Laurent, and lastly me throwing myself off the cliff. All this and more with my friends and lover getting hurt all because of me. Me and my pathetic weakness. It's no wonder that they want me gone. In fact it is better if I would just die.

_How can they still want to be near me after all the times I put them through? How can they not realize all the pain and suffering I put them through every blessed day of their eternal lives! Why is it that I am still alive? How can I still live and breathing? When will I ever learn to live and hold my own ground? I'm a failure at everything._

The images of her friends and family started to fade and the old wound in her heart showed its ugly head. Bella got up and walked to the edge of the damned cliff and said to her-self, "I have wronged the ones I loved. This may have been for recreation last time, but not now."

The Cullens and Jake stopped when they reached the bottom of the cliff, "Where is she damn it?" Edward growled.

"I don't know I can't see her." Alice said

Panicking Nessie looked around. She'd be damned if she would let her mother go. Thinking quickly with everything she learned that night she gasped as she realized where her mother would be and took off praying it was not too late, "Wait Nessie!" Jake called but he ended up following her along with the remainder of her family.

Bella was about to do it. She looked at the sky as it poured its tears on her. That water was raging mad as the monstrosity made of stone blocked its way. Taking an unnecessary breathe she was about to give herself up to the water. She made one last mental apology to her family that she never deserved, to Jake who would always be her personal sun, to Nessie the child she thought she would never have…perhaps she would be better off with a more competent mother, and lastly the holder of her soul and heart Edward…she hoped he would find a more competent wife.

Nessie saw her mother, but she knew she would not make it in time. Bella was about to take the leap when Nessie called out, "Mommy! NO!"

Bella snapped out of her head and turned just as Nessie through herself at her mother and cried, "Mommy please don't please. I need you…Jake needs you…Daddy needs you…we all need you."

Nessie held her hand up and showed Bella everything that happened after Alice, Rose, Jasper, and Emmett got home. She was needed…her thoughts were wrong. Bella sank down on her knees once more and hugged Nessie close, afraid of actually losing her, "I'm sorry honey I am so sorry."

"No we are sorry." The mother daughter moment was ruined when Edward and Jake appeared out of the woods.

Bella got up and just stared at the boys. The family hung back just watching…this was something they needed to sort out without interference.

"What are you sorry for?" Bella asked not able to look at them, "I am the one that is always causing trouble…I have brought nothing except trouble since I walked into your lives."

"Bella love after all this time you never see yourself clearly," Edward said walking up to his love and gently lifting her head so she would look at him, "If anything I have brought trouble to you."

"And me. I too have been a jerk…please Bella all we wanted what was best for you." Jake whispered stepping next to Edward.

"But our passions overrode our sense of thinking and we never saw what we were doing to you." Edward stated.

"So all we are asking for you to do is step back from that ledge and come with us." Jake said looking at the edge warily remembering seeing Victoria jump after Bella did and having to rescue her from drowning. Edward shuddered as he saw the memory.

Nessie saw her mom bite her lip so she jumped in, "We are all fucked up without you…please mommy?"

Bella turned to glare at her daughter and said, "After hearing that word come out of your mouth I damn well skippy coming home to wash that mouth out with soap young lady and no seeing Jake for a week!"

"What?" Nessie exclaimed as the family that was hiding came out to give group hugs.

"So am I forgiven?" Jake asked Bella with puppy dog eyes

Bella laughed kissing him on the cheek, "Yes but still no Nessie for a week."

He shrugged and turned to Nessie, "Sorry hun I tried."

Nessie pouted but was glad that she got her family together again.

"How about me love?" Edward asked holding Bella's hand and slid the ring gently out of his pocket to transfer it on to its proper place.

"Only if you forgive me." He answered by giving her the most passionate kiss of a life time.

There was a chorus of awes and they walked hand in hand back to the house as the sun slowly came out of the clouds.

_**Author Note:**_

**As promised this is a preview of the next story in this series. Please review and tell me what you all think. I will try to do better updating when school and work is not in the way. So without further ado here is the preview of ****Fun Times in Phoenix.**

**Summary**: It's around the holidays and once again with nothing to do at the Cullen house, Charlie stops by to drop of a package for Bella. When Bella opens it there is a note and…you guessed it, videos! What was Bella really like in Phoenix? Why does therapy seem like fun now? Why am I asking you? This story has more drama, espionage, rebellion, and most importantly hilarity that will knock your fluffy bunny socks off! R&R

**Bella POV-**

I watched as the snowflakes fall outside the window. Jake and Nessie huddled by the TV, but sadly nothing is on for them to watch.

"Why do they have to show stale Christmas specials?" Emmett yelled flicking through the channels, "I mean come on there are only so many times that we can watch the freak with the red nose!"

"HEY! I resent that!" Jasper yelled back at him

"What it's true…seriously boohoo poor freak raindeer that gets teased and whoopee doo he saves Christmas. Big whoop!" Emmett said giving up as he turned the TV off.

"Wow someone is a Scrooge today." Jake muttered and Nessie giggled. I giggled too as Edward kissed my head.

Everything seemed to simmer down since the Rocky Horror incident, which was good. We all vowed to never watch another home movie for a very long time.

Just then we heard a hum of an engine come up the driveway and everyone that got involved with the Christmas special argument stopped. That was when Charlie's cruiser came into view.

Carlisle and Esme looked at us and asked, "What did you all do this time?"

We all started to sputter when the bell rang…wow some vamps we are.

I answered the door and saw Charlie holding a box. He smiled gratefully as Edward snuck around to take the box out of his arms, "Thanks Edward, now Bells I can fully greet you. How have you been Bells?" He asked and gave me one of his awkward hugs.

"Ok Dad…would you like to come in?" I asked

"Nah I'm good. Billy and I are going ice fishing by a lake that he just found. But yea I got that thing today and noticed it was meant for you. The return address is from Phoenix so I figured it was from one of your friends. Well have fun and see you soon. By the way Renee says hi." He hugged me again and walked to the cruiser and I watched him go out of sight…that was when the final sentence hit me: From Phoenix. Crap!

"Wait don't open-"

"YES BYE BYE BORDOM!" Emmett's voice rang through the halls.

"Sorry love I tried to stop them but-" Edward said not looking the slightest bit sorry.

"Here mommy there was a note." Nessie handed me the note and I saw it was from Stacy and read:

_Dear Izzy,_

_Sup Gurl! Way to keep in touch! Well anyway I heard you found yourself a man from __**YOUR MOM**__! Really Izzy a simple e-mail would have been nice…but noooo too busy in your love life to even think of remembering your friends…for shame._

_So in hopes you remember here is a belated wedding gift for you…have fun!_

_Love,_

_Stacy_

_P.S You will thank me_

I let out a growl, "We are not watching these."

"Yes we are!" There was a chorus of responses even from Esme and Carlisle

"But we agreed that-"

Emmett strode up to me and placed an arm around my shoulder, "See the thing that you have not learned yet is that we Cullens are bad a sticking to agreements…"

"Especially when it involves our favorite sister." Alice finished with a smile

I was screwed five ways to Sunday on this one as Nessie pulled out a video labeled, "Izzy's Han Gliding Therapy."

Here we go again.


End file.
